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fruitcrocs:

fruitcrocs:

i love it when i cook stuff for myself bc like i’ve just cooked pasta and yee bitch look at me providing for myself i could totally make it in this world it’s almost as if i have my life together

i take this back the pasta was shit i’m falling apart

(via bertibottsbeans)

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onedirectioncutefacts:

onedirectioncutefacts:

a bunch of girls commented their numbers on harry’s instagram pics and i am gonna be that asshole that texts them pretending its harry

image

image

i fucking love myself

(via bertibottsbeans)

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knightscrest:

officialnasa:

knightscrest:

knightscrest:

how do astronauts say they’re sorry?

they apollo-gize!!

We dont apologize.

we are perfect.

nasa i know of at least 2 exploded spaceships that beg to differ

(via fuck-kirk)

Photoset

(Source: expelliarmus)

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sexhaver:

i knew a dude in college who kept an old Smirnoff bottle full of water on his desk and would casually chug straight out of it in the middle of conversations with new people in order to establish dominance

(via oneofthethem)

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literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

(Source: itssexualhour, via bertibottsbeans)

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sluttyoliveoil:

*ends every piece of advice with “idk though” so that its not my fault if i ruin ur life*

(via shipatfirstsight)

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generalbooty:

u ever get in a shower that has the water pressure of someone softly crying on u

(via shipatfirstsight)

Quote
"

People
are not
rain
or
snow
or autumn
leaves;

they
do not
look
beautiful
when
they
fall

"

Nav K  (via splitterherzen)

(Source: navk, via void-nogitsune)

Photoset

"I’m pretty sure the answer to that is ‘I am Groot.’"

(Source: peterquill, via fuck-kirk)